


Ways to kill

by Supernaturalnerd21



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Death, Death hates paper work, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, OFC is a Reaper, This is a little to much fun, most chapters will be short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-02 21:43:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19450090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supernaturalnerd21/pseuds/Supernaturalnerd21
Summary: Re is a reaper who got bored one day and having gotten into Game of Thornes she goes to GoT universe and decides to see how many times she can kill the Characters she doesn't like (mostly Jeffory and Ramsay)and these are just some of those deaths.





	1. Re

**(the afterlife: time unknown: Death’s Offices)**

Re sat in front of a desk, her feet on the table as death paced about the room.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Death asked as he looked at the reaper in front of him.

“I regret nothing,” she said with a smile, well it was partly true she just regretted not killing them a few more times.

“You regret nothing,” Death said having stopped his pacing and was now looking at Re with his pure white eye (having lost the other one in a bar fight but that was another story).

Re thought for a second before replying “Nope.” 

“Do you even realize how much paperwork, you have given me it will take me days to finish it.” Death partly shouted as he ran a hand through his black hair that had been spiked with tips dyed a dark blue.

“Why are you complain, you don’t even do your paperwork anyway you just shove it into the cupboard,” Re said with a roll of her eyes

As if to back up her claim the cupboard door burst open as a mounting of paper tumbled out, Re noticed with amusement that some of the paper was in fact parchment. Re turned and looked at Death a smirk playing on her mouth as Death rumbled something under his breath but how much he hated paperwork before he sat down on his seat across from her and opened his desk draw pulling out a dusty bottle of aged alcohol, and poured himself a large glass. 

“Right let's hear about the number of times you killed someone while in the Game of Thrones universe, and for your sake you better not have killed any of the ones I like,” he said taking a sip of the alcohol.

"Don't worry I don't have a death wish."

"Sometimes I doubt that."


	2. Joffery 1

Joffery looked around as they came into the Starks household.

Winterfell was horrible. The ground was nothing but mud, it was also far too cold. The Northerners may be happy to live in a place like a dog kennel (but then again they were all dogs) but it was not at all fit for him the heir of the Seven Kingdoms. He would much rather be at Kingslanding.

Joffery pulled his horse to a stop and dismounted, as he spun around to face the Starks he lost his footing on the muddy ground and slipped hitting his head a wooden block.

Everybody stared in stunned silence as blood spilled out of the Prince.


	3. Joffery 2

“Wooden swords are for children. I say we use live steal” Jeffery said.

Joffery then turned around and pulled his dog’s sword from its scabbard, he was about to say something when an idea suddenly came to him.

He was going to show these Northen Dogs why they should kneel to him, he started twirling around his sword the way he had seen some of the kingsguards do, unfortunately, in his eagerness to show off his (nonexistent) skills with a sword he ended up stabbing himself, he died later on from an infection.


	4. Joffery 3

Joffery scowled as his mother talked. He wanted that stupid Stark girl to be punished for what she did to him. 

The only good thing that put a smile on his was that the butcher's boy had been killed and that at one of the dumb dogs were dead and would soon a pelt.

His mother then said that he should do something nice for the Stark girl, and Joffrey felt his good mood disappear and his anger return.

_Why should he!_

He is the prince of the seven kingdoms, the Stark bitch should be grateful that he even looks at a savage like her. He stands up and goes to storm out of the room when he tripped over one of his boots and is speared through the head by the fire poker. 


	5. Joffrey 4

Joffrey watched with sadistic glee as Ser Ilyn draws the Starks family sword Ice. The honourable Ned Stark has been pushed to his knees as the smallfolk scream for justices to be severed.

Nothing is going to make him change his mind, not the Stark bitch nor the comments from his mother that they can't afford a civil war that will sourly happen, from this action. He is the King of the seven kingdoms he's not afraid of the North as they will be no match to his grandfathers' army, should they dare to declare war against their king.

Joffrey leans forward as he watches the sword be raised high above Ser Ilyn head, it then that he hears someone say something.

"...u should be the one that wields the sword." 

"Stop!" he shouts "Ser Ilyn give me the sword, I will be the one to cut the traitors head!" 

Hearing this the smallfolk cheer louder at the thought of their king doing the deed. 

Joffrey walks down the steps before going over to were Ser Ilyn is standing and takes the sword from him.

Joffrey raises Ice above his head, his foot takes a step back and steps into some bird poo this course Joffrey to slip and fall backwards and off the stage letting go of Ice, he has no time to move out of the way as Ice falls and implies him through neck.

The smallfolk take it as a sign from the Gods that Ned Stark is innocent. 


	6. Jeffrey 5

Joffrey looks around the hall as people feast. These Northen savages may live like dogs but at least, they know how to throw a feast that is fit for the hire of the seven kingdoms. He looks around the room and catches the eye of the Stark girl, the girl is pretty enough she also understands that a woman's place is giving her husband worthy heirs and that it is also a wife duty to please her husband.

Joffrey takes a bit out his chicken, he is lost in his thoughts of what he will do when he rules his kingdom that he doesn't notice that he has also bitten, off some of the bone until it is far too late and he begins to choke on the bone. 

After a few moments, Joffrey stops choking and falls off his chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who do you want to see next?
> 
> another Jeffrey death?  
> Ramsay?  
> Cersei?  
> Gregor?


	7. Ramsay 1

"I am Lord Bolten," Ramsay said as he looked at Walda, who was hugging her little brat close to her.

"Ramsay...Ramsay please i'll leave Winterful and go back to the winter lands." Walda said terrified off the man in front of her. "Please. Ramsay, he's your brother."

"I prefer being an only child," Ramsay said before he whistled for his hounds to come out of their cages.

He could feel himself get hard, at the very thought of Walda and her brat being torn apart like a pig being gutted after it has been killed. He watched as his loyal hounds, stepped out of their cage. He had made sure that they hadn't been fed for a few days in preparation of Walda's arrival. But instead of the hounds they simply paused and looked from the Walda to Ramsay as if they were thinking something over in their heads, after a few seconds the hounds turned to Ramsay and pounced on him.

Walda could do nothing but watch as Ramsay prized hounds tore into him.


	8. Jeffrey 6

Jeffrey watched in excitement as his loyal dog fought his brother Gregor Clegane 'the mountain that rides' to project the stupid Tyrell Knight.

'Loras' Jeffrey thinks his name is not that it will matter when Gregor cuts him in half. Jeffrey could hardly wait to see it. From the corner of his eye, he sees his father stand up.

"Stop in the name of your King." his father shouts

Unfortunately, his father shouts at the same time that Gregor is in mid-swing and is unable to stop this leads to him letting go of the sword coursing it to fly through the air and into Jeffrey cutting his head in half.


	9. Jeffrey 7

Jeffrey walked past the smallfolk, ignoring their pleas for food. He sneers to himself don't they understand that he is the King and that them not having enough food doesn't matter to him. Suddenly something warm hits his face and slides down and on to his clothes.

A cow pie.

"How threw that! Find who threw that and bring him to me," he shouted at his men as the drew their swords to defend their king.

Jeffrey watched as the crowd of smallfolk started to fight to some of his men he feels his anger grow and shouts out to his knight to "Kill them, kill them all!" this course the rest of the smallfolk to start fighting and suddenly there is a full riot breaking out. Some of the knights start to husher Jeffrey away but the king is suddenly grabbed and pulled to the floor group of smallfolk quickly descend upon him. 

Tyrion turns around in time to see his nephew being torn apart by the smallfolk, the knights that had been trying to husher Jeffrey away are no were to be seen, having fled when the smallfolk descended upon the king.


	10. Jeffrey 8

Jeffery laughs as the half-men in front of him perform the play. He can see that he has offended some if not all of his guest, that have come to his wedding to the lovely Margaery Tyrell. 

_Good._

He thinks, after all, a lion doesn't concern itself the opinion of sheep.

As he laughs, he places some more food in his mouth. Unfortunately, his mother never told him, that's it better not to laugh or talk when one has a mouthful of food so the food ends up going to the wrong way. Jeffery chokes for a few seconds before falling face-first into the food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's your favourite one so far?


End file.
